Bridges
We All Have Death in Common,
Why Don't We Talk About it?
February 9, 2025
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Discussion Questions
These questions are just to start and aid discussion. Please skip around in the list, indulge diversions, and let your discussion develop naturally.​
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In your background, how is death spoken of? (culturally, religiously, and/or familially) Is it avoided? Has your experience informed how you converse with, and listen to grieving people?
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Have you ever spoken with others about your own eventual death? Has this been administrative (ex: preparing a will and/or personal directive), personal but structured (ex: talking about how you'd like your memorial to look), or simply talking about the ideas, emotions, and relational aspects of death in a less-structured frame?
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What are the differences between your experience of death and its portrayal in media? (Think of death and grief in movies, books, video games, journalism, tv, and social media compared to your experience).
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Have you experienced the death of someone close? Have you experienced the death of someone you had more arms-length relationship to? Do you speak differently with others about these two different relational connections to deceased people?​​​ Do others speak differently to you about these two experiences?
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Are you comfortable sharing some stories today about people you know who've died? If you are, please share, and let the others in your group know if you're feeling any discomfort, or challenge sharing that might help them respond. Please also let your group know if you'd like to move on to a different question.
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Has your experience of grief been different than other people you know? Have you received help from others in your grief? Has this help included professionals like social workers, counsellors, ministers, or others?
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How does privilege vs poverty impact dying people and grieving people? Have you encountered charity or government supported care available to those without financial privilege? Have you encountered care only available to those with the ability to pay for it (ex. funeral homes, private medical care, death doulas)? How can we bring more equity to the experience of dying and/or grieving?
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Have you experienced death in the workplace? How has the culture of your workplace informed the experience of grief and communal loss? Are there other contexts beyond family or friendships where you've experienced communal loss (churches, volunteer groups, structured social gatherings etc)?
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What are the memorial traditions you're familiar with? (funerals, wakes, interments, etc). What aspects of these gatherings are helpful? Are some aspects unhelpful?
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Have you or people you know experienced complex losses? (complex losses can include the loss of someone with significant mental health challenges, severe cognitive decline, suicides, victims of violence, sudden deaths, the death of a child, the death of someone estranged from you, the loss of a former partner after divorce, the death of an abuser, the death of someone you had any kind of difficult relationship with, and any other context that adds conflict or complexity to the already difficult experience of grief).